Marriage Preparation at St. Dominic's

Planning to get married? Congratulations! We rejoice with you! We hope you will use this special time to deepen your relationship. A wedding is only for a day; a marriage is for a lifetime. Some people wish to marry at St. Dominic's; others wish to be married elsewhere. Some mixed-religion couples wish to be married by a minister or rabbi, but want their marriage recognized by the Church. Whatever your circumstances, we wish to be of service.

Whom can we prepare for marriage?

Sorry, we can't prepare everyone, but we can help those who are:

Already registered parishioners (at least one year) or someone who lives within the parish boundaries;
An associate member who has the permission of your own pastor;
Someone who has a special circumstance. Please write a letter explaining your circumstances to the Pastor, Fr. Xavier Lavagetto, and secure at a later date the permission of your own pastor.

How long does it take?

The Archdiocese has a number of requirements; one is a six-month preparation period.

Do you plan to marry at another parish?

We will prepare your required paperwork here and send it to the parish where you will be married. A total fee of $400 covers all of the classes required for preparation (see below for more information on fees).

What are the fees?

The $200 deposit required in step 1 (below) is included in the fees listed here.

FOCCUS & preparation: $400
Wedding Coordinator & Church Rental:
- $900 for parishioners & associates
- $2,000 for non-parishioners
Music fees are additional

We don't turn away couples because of financial hardship. Talk to the priest assigned about what arrangements can be made.

What are the steps?

To begin the process, or have your questions answered, please call Karen Mitchell at (415) 674-0449 to request a wedding packet. If you are not a parishioner or an associate member, please write a letter directly to the pastor to explain your special circumstances, and Karen will contact you.

In order to serve you, Karen will have to ask whether either one of you has been married, even in a civil ceremony. (If previously married and the former spouse is alive, we need to secure an annulment. Sorry, no wedding date can be set until both parties are free to marry; the timing will vary depending on the case.)

Once you have received the wedding packet, please return the parishioner data and date request forms with a deposit ($200) in order to begin the wedding preparation.

Attend the Introductory Wedding Classes Six Months before the Marriage. Second Wednesdays (Aquinas Room), & Second Thursdays (Siena Room), 7:30 p.m. The first class both explains the process and provides an introduction to marriage; the second class is a pizza dinner and discussion on "Alive Marriages." The classes are offered to the couples on consecutive Wednesday and Thursday nights at 7:30 p.m. We understand that schedules conflict; if need be, special arrangements can be made by the priest who will be assigned to you.

Take the FOCCUS. This is a wonderful opportunity for you as a couple to learn each other's ideas about the different aspects that make a good marriage, and to identify those areas that still need to be discussed.

The couple may take the FOCCUS inventory in the Parish Office any evening or weekend once their date has been approved or even before you attend the classes. The test may take 45-90 minutes. Once the tests are processed, they are sent to Helen Doneux, our Marriage & Family Counselor, who will contact you and set a time to meet with you both.

Start Meeting with the Priest. Once you've reviewed the FOCCUS test with Helen Doneux, call the priest you are working with to set up three meetings with him. These meetings will explore the spirituality of the marriage, deepening your relationship, handling conflict and improving your communication.

Attend a Preparatory Weekend Class. In addition to both classes at St. Dominic's, one of the following classes is required to complete your preparation.

Engaged Encounter Weekend, (415) 664-1985. (For those who attend the Engaged Encounter, the church rental fee is $100 less.)
Saturdays for Engaged Couples, Old Saint Mary's Cathedral, (415) 288-3809.
Marriage for Life, St. Mary's Cathedral, (415) 664-8108.

Attend a Natural Family Planning Class. First Thursdays (Aquinas Room), 7:00 p.m. Susan McConneloug presents a monthly class for engaged or married couples on "Natural Paths to Understanding your Fertility." Susan specializes in the Creighton Model Fertility System. Please register for the class by calling Susan at (415) 459-3860.

Plan the Wedding Ceremony if you are marrying at St. Dominic's.

Meet with Pat Berberich, our wedding coordinator, (415) 567-7824. Pat will assist you with questions regarding flowers, photography, wedding processions, and other details for your ceremony.
Attend the Wedding Music Seminar and plan the music with Simon Berry, Director of Liturgy & Music, (415) 567-7824.
Plan ceremony: Choose readings and prayers with your priest or deacon.

What paperwork is required?

Paperwork is always required! Please get the paperwork as soon as possible. Don't delay to the end.

Catholics will have to secure a reissued Baptismal Certificate from the parish of the Baptism. Parishes need only be contacted, and they usually send the form to you or to us quickly.
If one of the couple is Baptized non-Catholic, any Baptismal Record, or photocopy of one, will suffice. Failing that an affidavit of a parent or attendee will suffice.
Partially completed Form A (1 for bride & 1 for groom). We provide this form, please fill in the front side, the back side will be filled in by the priest.
Form B Witness (2 for each). Your witnesses can fill out their Form B at any Catholic Church, or you can bring your witnesses to St. Dominic's and we can help them.
If one of the couple is not a Catholic, we will secure permission to marry a non-Catholic. You should have discussed in advance the issue of rearing the children as Catholic.
If you are marrying outside the diocese, we will need to know the name of the officiant, the parish, the place and the date of the wedding.
Some couples who are marrying a non-Catholic wish to have their marriage celebrated by a non-Catholic minister or rabbi, or by a Justice of the Peace. We will need to know the reasons for this special request so that we can seek the required dispensation. Please supply the name of the officiant as well as the place and date of the marriage so that it can be properly registered.
If either party has been previously married, and the former spouse is still living, then additional steps need to be taken. The steps and timetable required will depend on the particular case. Contact Karen Mitchell at (415) 674-0449 to answer any questions.

Some useful documents for planning your wedding:

Catholic Liturgy Planning Seminar for Weddings (PDF, 186 K)
Catholic Wedding Readings (PDF, 77 K)
Editable Wedding Missal template (DOC, 313 K) (also in PDF, 179 K)
Policies for Wedding Photographers and Videographers (PDF, 55 K)